The karaoke session was a BEHH-LAASSSST! Thanks for the day, bbygs. (:

Well, i'm currently not being myself. I just can't figure out why i'm being like this. I didn't even reply to any of the msges being sent to me, including his msg also. I'm fucked up with myself, for no particular reason. And to be honest, i burst out in tears, really. I feel like something's not right. I feel like my family's always picking on me. I feel like i'm no longer appreciated and being loved, and instead, im just being fooled. I feel guilty for not replying to any of the msges, but i just can't. I'm really really sorry. I was surprised upon knowing that he took the iniative to msg my sis and asked whether i was angry with hym or not. Well, i'm not okay bie? I just don't feel right about myself. I'm really really sorry to you, and the others too. Gawd, i feel like sobbing again. No no no, i must be strong, but, i'm just too weak. I really don't know why i can't handle such problems easily.

I'm somehow struggling, and suffering at the same tyme. Yeah, many sees me happy on the outside, but yeah, i'm just faking it for the sake of friends. What for showing people that you're doleful when you know they don't even care? But really, i'm not trying to find sympathy or what la huh. I'm just pouring out EVERYTHING that i feel that's not right. Oh well, i kinda have this really really bad feeling that something bad is gonna happen between me and hym. See, another bad feeling. Fvck, this totally sucks big tyme laaa. I keep having this kinda feeling eversince that thing that had happened a few months ago. It's like, i've really lost trust in boys. I dunoe why. OH MYYY GODD. *tahan tears* But, whatever it is, i can't let this feeling conquer me for long. I hope i can sort things out really fast. Insyaallah. Okay, i'm sooooo relieved that i'll be meeting aidi tmr to pour everything out to hym. And by this, i hope that 3/4 of the burden that i'm carrying now will ease bit by bit. And isn't your life a waste when you have to suffer for something so ridiculous? I wonder...