I have to make it happen.
Saturday, July 25 10:00 PM
Sometymes i wonder why issit wrong for me to like or even love someone in an instance. I feel like, im just wasting my tyme finding someone whom i can lean on, talk on the phone to, vomit out all my secrets and problems to. That someone wouldn't even want or appreciate me. Yes, other people tend to find their love life easily, but for me, its a very difficult task and i seriously have to face many obstacles to find someone i really love. Yes, im already having someone on my mind but i guess that someone just doesn't even seem to notice or even care. Yites, i hate this. All of this would surely and definitely happened when im into someone. Why? Why does this have to happen? Have i done something wrong or have i created the biggest sin of all that my life have to be this hurting? Am i like the most despicable person on earth? Or issit just that i don't even deserve to be here? Im desperately hoping for an explanation. Yes, definitely a reasonable one. Honestly, seeing other humans happy is making me despondent even more. Like what people say, being single is easy, but controlling your feelings isn't easy though. Being attach is easy, but it's painstakingly hard to make it last forever. Im not trying to conclude that im desperately wanting to be in a r/s, but its human nature to have this kind of craving right? Somehow, i must be patient with time and im confidently sure that i cn lead a happy life just like other humans. They say, life has to go on, and i ought to have a happy life. I should be deserving that kinda life, not this. I'll just have to persevere, work hard, and pray for everything that concerns my happiness. The only thing im hoping for is for me to love and be loved. Im not asking people to sympathise me, im just pouring out my thoughts and feelings. Some of you still may not understand how i feel. Only Allah knows how i feel right now. I strongly hope that by doing this, i would feel much better. God willing.
